Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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