Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
