Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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