cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
