please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
