as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Even my vagina gasped.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize