Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
