reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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