no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i think i just lost a toe
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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