That's intense
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
