Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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