If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
