I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
