oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
