Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
