Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
