a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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