Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
