like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
