Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
