woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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