Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
