He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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