My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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