if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
