I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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