So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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