apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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