Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
