im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
