yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
