I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
