Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
