Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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