You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
