thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
