DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
