God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
