Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
the liver wants what the liver wants
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
