just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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