She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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