Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
