Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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