the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
