If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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