Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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