I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
