I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
