i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
