The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
