I want to walk on stilts...naked
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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