Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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