i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize