ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
