He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
