At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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