I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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