Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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