And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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