Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
