question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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