fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
