Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I need a beard to bite.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize