I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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