How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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