I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
