More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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