Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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